To the Time Machine! - part 3

The Present
A Bunker

"In case of time travel, break glass," Andronicus read the words on the wall-mounted case. "It's such a nice case. Do you think it means the glass in it, or will any glass suffice?"

"It looks like some sort of kit inside," Mouthpiece Scott offered. "I think you have to break the glass to get it out, Foretold One."

Andronicus, his crowd of aides, and a band of scientists puzzled together around the case that was mounted on the wall. No one could recall having seen it before, but it appeared to have been there a long time.

It was suggested they employ the Ax of Justice to break the glass, but subsequent attempts to lift the Ax from the departure platform ended in failure. It was not just heavy, but damn immovable.

"It will do you no good," His Excellency told the cluster of frustrated technicians. "Only the Brute Squad may wield the Ax of Justice, Rhythm, and All Things Lethal."

After a quick trip topside to retrieve the Raptolier from his pickup truck, Emperor Andy unsheathed the sword of power, calculated the exact amount of force needed to break just the glass while sparing the contents, rared back, and with one great wallop, bashed the case, the kit, and its contents into what can only be described as "smithereens."

A quick inspection by the gathered scientists brave enough to get close to the Emperor revealed the majority of the kit unsalvageable thanks to the mighty Raptolier. A single document, however, managed to survive. A sniff test revealed the paper smelled of strawberries and sunshine. And bore a strange letterhead.

The ensemble assembled to dissemble what the emblem was resembling.

Yes, that sentence got it's own paragraph. The seal on the document looked similar to the great Seal of the Empire of Earth, but there were noticeable discrepancies, mainly that this one looked cooler. Weirder still, the letter was dated October 27, 2024.

They were interrupted when from high above the door swung open and sunlight flooded into the room. "Close the door!"

"Sorry," came the reply. Darkness, and temporary blindness, followed. "Emperor!" shouted Sunsucking Surgeon General Jernigan, as she bolted down the stairs. "I heard Lorma Doom disappeared. "We have to find her! We must rescue her!"

"How did you hear about this?" Andronicus snapped. "This is highly classified research we're doing here."

"I just knew it intrinsically. Sisters share a bond," Jernigan explained hastily. "Also, she dropped off the loyalty chip tracking display."

Emperor Andy eyed her suspiciously, but was distracted when Jernigan asked, "Whatcha reading?"

"A letter from myself in the future," the Perturbed One answered.

And this is how the letter read:

Andronikus & kompany,

In kase fa've not put the klues together yet, this letter is from wat should be your kurture. In my prestime, we kave all sorts of fun tenses to help "time travlers" (haha) akurately komunicate the time period of whikh they curspeak.

However, I have translated (had someone translate) this letter into what you would call English, Andronican, or Earthen. We call it Old Earth in my time.

I know that you have funded the time travel project for the purpose of altering the past to improve the future, and hopefully avoid the Dark Times. However, it is imperative that you assemble an elite squad of adventurers, locate the Brutal Mistress, and stop her from altering the past.

Your task will be difficult because you will not want to stop her. I cannot tell you more, but you must maintain the timeline or the Empire will never come to fruition.

Compliance!

Succinctly sincere,

Andronicus I
Emperor of Sol + Oort
President, Interstellar Confederation
Prime of Earth Realm, Loyal Order of the Dossai

ea1/mps
xoxo

Enclosures: Time Travel Kit (do not bash to smithereens!)

"It would appear that in the future," Morgborg observed, "you have taken to dotting your I's with hearts." In the ensuing silence, she adjusted her nurse outfit awkwardly.

"Nevermind that," declared Andronicus. "Notice I have three titles in the future! The future is awesome."

"That means three times the work," noted the Germ.

Andy looked at the titles again. "Bummer," he concluded.

The door above them opened, temporarily blinding everyone below with sunlight. "Close the door!"

Compliance. It was Wrangler price, a.k.a. Mo-Tron. "Your Excellency, I heard the time machine works. I always knew it would." She was sitting atop a robotic dinosaur, which clambered straight down the side of the bunker wall.

The raptor landed with a clunk beside the small crowd of men in white coats. "More importantly as you can see I am successfully testing the prototype for the first fully robotic velociraptor," Price exclaimed. "This will be a day long remembered in the Empire!" The robo-raptor hissed at one of the scientists.

"Does everyone know the location of the secret research bunker?" Andronicus was beginning to get angry.

"I only found it thanks the advanced sensor suite on my robo-raptor," Mo-Tron said, quickly realizing she might in trouble. "I'm sure the secret is quite safe."

Again, the door above them opened. And again everyone below was temporarily blinded. There was a tromp tromp tromping down the stairs. Once everyone's eyes had adjusted, they realized it was Imperial Plumber Stegall.

"This is a top secret R&D facility," fumed Andy, "not a boardwalk! What are you doing here?"

Stegall's eyes grew big, and she looked from Andronicus to Borgan, then said, "I'm just here in case something goes wrong with her pipes." The Foretold One frowned in reply.

To relieve the terrible tension, everyone took turns petting the robo-raptor until it bit someone's hand off. Luckily, Surgeon General Jernigan was on hand. She scolded the clumsy scientist soundly for feeding the robo-raptor.